Endlessly divisible Canada
Feb 01, 2008 04:30 AM
This year marks the 20th anniversary of my arrival in Canada. People who have been here for less time are busy trying to change the face of this wonderful country I call home.
Not to be left behind, I take this opportunity to look ahead another 20 years:
There will be a separate school at every corner. Each religious and ethnic community will have their own school so there will be Sikh, Jewish, Hindu, Christian and its denominations plus Muslims and their 72 sects, to name a few. Since it's unhealthy for boys and girls to study together, there will be separate schools for those who support gender segregation. Schools will further be divided along the lines of race and colour. White, black and brown schools will take the lead, other colours can follow.
Schools and workplaces will be closed on the cultural and religious holidays of each community. This will leave about 100 working days but that's okay with Canada because we're so inclusive.
Ethnic communities will be encouraged to have their own residential enclaves, which could be gated. What a remarkable example Canada will present to the whole world as they show off their little ghettos.
There will be separate laws for all religious groups. The Canadian Bar Association will have to change its name because "bar" is offensive to some.
Christmas will be cancelled since it's the festival of the religious majority but offensive to the ethnic minority. However, every ethnic minority can savour and celebrate their cultural and religious festivals with gusto.
Loyalty to Canada will not be a prerequisite to living here. All one has to do is learn to say "eh." A Canadian passport will be given on a platter to take away and enjoy while raking in petrodollars in oil-rich countries, returning only to use the health-care system, confident in knowing that if an emergency arises, Canada will bring you back at any cost.
Read it all here at The Toronto Star.
Now if all immigrants to Canada were like her...