On this day let's collectively bow our heads and genuflect to the gods of the "New Canada" and recognize the continuous blessings and bounty each cohort of "new Canadians" bestows upon the people of this land for without their presence and "contribution" this country and we as a people would be lost and in a sorry, sad state.
Thanks for choosing Canada and contributing to our collective wealth and prosperity. We know your decision is selfless and your sacrifices are great to ensure that an already prosperous people remain prosperous even though I'm certain your countrymen back in your native lands need your skills and talents more than we do.
Thanks for the headaches; for being culturally belligerent, for the incessant demands for accommodation allowing you to integrate by not integrating; for the the long traffic jams and longer commute times; for more time away from friends, family, and leisure because who really wants that anyway?
Thanks for crowding our cityscapes and public transit; for subways we wouldn't need and for the tax increases to build them; for ugly urban sprawl neighbourhoods and for the destroyed rich farmlands and green spaces they now occupy; for the blight of condos that litter the skyline and an out of control, unaffordable housing market that puts us further and further into record levels of debt; for an affordable housing shortage; for making an affordable city unaffordable; a once livable city unlivable.
Thanks for oversupplying the labour market and for the downward pressure on incomes that adversely affects the most vulnerable of Canadians the most; for diversity hiring quotas that tell us race doesn't matter until it does.
Thanks for jobs you take, the ones Canadians won't do at that pay; thanks for being job creators, the jobs you create for yourself and your family. If it weren't for you then'd who run that corner store, nail salon, laundromat, or gas bar? And thanks for not doing your homework. If a bunch of Somalis can learn about how to scam Canada's refugee system without an internet connection how is it possible you couldn't have known that in Canada it will be tough for you to get a job in your filed with that degree from the Indian Institute of Technology.
Thanks for straining the health care system; for a doctor shortage by increasing patient supply; for putting it on the path to bankruptcy with your aged and sickly parents and with the inadequate amount of taxes you pay to support it. Deep down we really wanted a privatized system anyway.
Thanks for dodging taxes; for spending six months less a day outside Canada; for travelling to China with your Chinese passport even though you have dual citizenship or permanent residency. It's our pleasure to pay for the care of your elderly and education of your youth so you don't have to.
Thanks for removing billions of dollars from the Canadian economy to support foreign ones and to fund wars in lands we couldn't locate on a map. Why end the pain and suffering of a civil war in 5 years when you can keep it going for another 22? Besides, they look like so much fun its brightens our faces you bring them to our shores.
Thanks for the weakened social cohesion; thanks for not learning our language; thanks for the confusion on what a Canadian is to where the only thing binding us as a people now is the legal right to carry a Canadian passport and vote in elections. We thought we had a good idea of who we were but then you came along and told us we were wrong. Now we don't know who or what a Canadian is yet somehow everyone is a Canadian.
Thanks for treating the nation as just an economy to exploit and thinking of it as a shopping mall to satisfy your materialist fantasies; for helping it become that non-country we always knew it was.
Thanks for vote banks; for voting blocks; for ethnic vote pandering politics and politicians whose shortsighted personal ambitions blind them to the long-term consequences of their self-serving decisions; for an immigration system that better serves immigrants and immigrant communities over the needs of Canadians; for a weakened border and the loss of sovereignty; for the joke of an asylum system, the Singh decision, the costly IRB, and a fiscally burdensome immigration system that eats up tax dollars that should be invested into Canadian families instead.
Thanks for limiting our freedom of speech.
Thanks for colonizing Canada; for letting us better relate the country's indigenous peoples; for keeping the country's colonial history alive teaching us colonialism is great so long as you're the one doing it.
Thanks for strange holidays we don't recognize or celebrate, and thanks for black and orange day and Christmas "controversies" that are now as seasonal as gift giving, holiday trees, snow, and the arrival of Santa Clause.
Thanks for cultural festivals we don't go to and the over supply of ethnic restaurants many can't afford to eat at but at least your diverse culinary pallets gives us something positive to say about immigrants and multiculturalism because otherwise we're left scratching our heads.
Thanks for MDMA and THC, for khat and doda; for the Asian Organized Crime Task Force, the Tamil Task Force, and the Somali outreach unit; for the Malvern Crew and the Galloway Boys. It's nice to see immigrants add diversity to every aspect of Canadian society, including the crime stats.
And above all thanks for making us feel like strangers in our land; for being proud Canadians as you actively change the nation to reflect the one from whence you came. We didn't invite you and don't really need you but you forced yourself upon us and now we have to put up with you. So thanks for the new Canada; something we didn't ask for nor do we really want but you're going to give it to us anyway whether we want it or not because it's not really about what we want is it? It's all about you.