Tuesday, 3 January 2017

The Justin Trudeau Drinking Game.

The PMO released a pre-recorded, canned New Year’s address from Justin Sandiego as if anyone in the nation gave a shit.  I didn’t listen to it and I doubt very few people did either however I’m sure it was chock-full of Justin’s characteristic jargon that can turn any Trudeau speech into a drinking game.  Which reminds me, are you a consummate alcoholic?  Do you consider yourself a political junky as well?  Or do you just like to get drunk and find drinking games the most fun way to do it?  Well, if you can stand the sight and sound of Canada’s dorky Prime Minister for more than five seconds then I have a drinking game for you.

It’s apparent our idiot of a PM can’t give a speech or interview without dropping one of the many progressive buzzwords that has come to define his fabricated political brand of the nu-male image.  I doubt he can order a Big Mac at McDonald’s without mentioning how the depletion of the Amazon rain forest contributes to climate change.  Only to then down that high caloric, high fat sandwich like the hypocrite all narcissists are.  Maybe he eats two because he cashed in one of those “buy one, get one” coupons from those McDonald’s booklets we find littering our mailboxes every month or so.  Or maybe he doesn’t because he doesn’t want to hurt that middle-aged dad-bod physique of his that makes him “sexy” for some reason.  Eh, whatever.

So stream a Justin Trudeau talk or interview wherever you can find one and if he mentions “climate change” you take a drink.  If he mentions “global warming” you take a drink.  If he says “equality” you take a drink but if he mentions it along with “gender” or “racial” or “religious” you take two drinks.  If he mentions “feminism” or “feminist” or anything eliciting gyno-centric favouritism you take a drink.  If he mentions “diversity”, “tolerance”, “acceptance”, “multiculturalism”, “inclusion” or “inclusiveness” you take a drink.  If he says “diversity is our strength” or variations of that sentence you take two drinks.  If he mentions “middle class” you take a drink.  And every time he says “Canada” you take a drink because when he’s talking about Canada he’s really taking about himself.

Nightmare mode:  If you find yourself still sober or not drunk enough and you’re determined to go full-tilt inebriated then take a drink every time he punctuates his speech with his characteristic “uhs” and “ahs.”  You know what I’m talking about don't you?  Those faggy inhales he does when he finishes a sentence or starts a sentence or does in the middle of sentence that, if you’re like me, drives you up the f**king wall?  Yeah, that thing!  Go on and take a drink every time he does that but I must caution you you’re courting alcohol poising if you do.  Have some charcoal on hand just in case.

I’m not a drinker myself but I’m tempted to take it up.  I don’t see how I’m going to last then next three years sober.  2016 was a tough one.

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